My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
