Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
