everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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