i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
