I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
