She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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