Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
