I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
