I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
