have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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