Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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