If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
