hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
