i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
