The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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