Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
