If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
