But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When did angry sex become our thing?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
