i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
