Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
