I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
