I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
