last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
