i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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