Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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