pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
