Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
