You really coming over, don't trick.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
