I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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