i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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