after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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