is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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