grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
