I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
foreskin is a definite game changer
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
