i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
