I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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