we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
