I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
