Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
