dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
