so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
