I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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