Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
