'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You've changed since you got that strap on
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
