He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
