i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
