that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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