remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
