i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The Olympian is in my bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
