they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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