DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
