i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
