Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
